- The Indianapolis Colts appear to be making a playoff run while the only Colts the Tennessee Titans are kicking back are bottles of Colt 45 Malt Liquor. The Titans stumble in their drunken stupor to 2nd place in the AFC South.
- Joe Burrow finally figures out what a real defense looks like as the Bengals lay bloodied & beaten in the AFC North basement. They’re now just one loss away from missing the playoffs…yet again.
- Apparently, the Lamar Jackson’s greatest weakness is…rain! It rained so hard on that last drive that it just about washed away the Ravens’ chances of clinching the AFC North.
- What? A Steelers game that wasn’t close? No fans having heart attacks from watching Pittsburgh almost lose to a garbage team? Big Ben finally going to the sidelines to let Mason Rudolph take over in garbage time? Impossible! How will you keep up the soap opera suspense when they face the 1-8 Jaguars next week?
- The team with no name is apparently on-track to be the team with no improvement over last year. I mean, come on…they couldn’t even beat the Lions? It’s not like the rest of their schedule gets much easier.
- Ok Raiders, I know you had an easy day in Denver running over the Broncos with your Carr, but the rest of the AFC is counting on you to work your magic again and deny Patrick Mahomes another trip to the Super Bowl. Vontaze Burfict is currently waiting by the phone like a teenage girl who gave out her number to the cute boy from English class.
- Seahawks? See Rams. Seattle now 3rd place in division. (See definition for “Ouch”)
- Jameis Winston finally gets to see the field after watching Drew Brees almost die. Miraculously, after all that time watching Netflix on the bench, Winston still knows how to play football.
- That DeAndre Hopkins catch? Amazing. The idea of a Super Bowl rematch between the Cardinals & Steelers? Even more amazing!
- The Bears went from a 5-1 start to losing four games in a row and giving Kirk Cousins the first Monday night win of his entire career. It certainly didn't help that Nick Foles got snapped in two in the final seconds of the game. Yeesh.